Twin Forces
by xBookEaterx
Summary: In which Merlin discovers he has a twin brother who fights in Cendred's army, and who is hell-bent on killing Arthur. Slight AU, tag to The Last Dragonlord.
1. Prologue

**_Summary: In which Merlin discovers he has a twin brother who fights in Cendred's army and who is hell-bent on killing Arthur Pendragon. Slight AU, tag to The Last Dragonlord._**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, unfortunately. The plot and some other characters are mine, though :p**

**This is my first try at a multi-chapter Merlin story, so please, review and tell me what you think. **

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PROLOGUE

Merlin woke up and stared at the wooden dragon his father had carved for him the night before. Then a hand grabbed him from behind and covered his mouth. Merlin struggled a little, until he heard Arthur's voice whispering hurriedly in his ear "Cendred's men."

He shot to his feet and took a sword, just as Cendred's soldiers came rushing out of the forest into their camp. The warlock tossed a sword to Balinor, and defended himself as much as he could with a blade. He couldn't afford to be discovered using magic today. Merlin tried to keep an eye on Arthur and his father, but the former had gotten out of his line of sight. He was startled by this and lost his concentration, giving the chance to the other man to disarm him. Just then, Balinor put himself in front of Merlin and ran the man through. Father and son were about to smile with relief, when another soldier, wearing a helmet like the others, rushed straight to them. Merlin couldn't think. He couldn't react.

He only saw as the blade pierced his father's torso. Balinor fell, and Merlin seized him before he fell. Feeling the limp body of his father, a roaring rage took control over him, and he screamed his magic out. All the soldiers in the clearing were thrown back, their helmets snatched out, and the clearing was filled with the sound of skulls breaking.

Merlin breathed heavily and, lowering his father to the ground, he glanced to see the soldiers. They were all on the ground, laying in awkward positions. They were all dead.

Except the closest to Merlin, whose chest clearly rose and fell. Merlin felt defeated. His father was dying and he couldn't even kill the man who had pierced him. Crying, Merlin stared at his father, who whispered "Ah, I see you have your father's talent. Merlin…"

The warlock sobbed, holding his father closer. "Please, no. Please. I can save you."

Balinor's eyes were slowly losing their light. "Listen to me. When you face the dragon, remember: be strong. A dragon's heart is on its right side, not its left."

"I can't do it alone", Merlin's voice was but a broken gasp.

Balinor held on to life, just enough seconds to whisper "Listen to me! Oh, my son. I've seen enough in you to know that you will make me proud." The glint in his eyes paled, and he remained still.

"No! Father, no!" Merlin sobbed and rocked the corpse of his father back and forth, feeling the new happiness he'd found at the side of Balinor crumbling down.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement. At first, he thought it was Arthur coming back, and he quickly wiped the tears out of his eyes, and suppressed his sobs. But when he turned, he didn't see Arthur. He saw the soldier who had killed his father scrambling to his feet.

Then the man turned and Merlin paled. He was stunned. The man in front of himself had exactly his same eyes. His hair, his ears, his face, they were exactly like Merlin's. His body was the same, if somewhat stronger. Merlin couldn't move.

Because staring down at him, was the very image of himself.

The man had a dazed look in his eyes, perhaps from a concussion, given the fact that Merlin had thrown him backwards.

Merlin gaped. The soldier didn't look his way again, trying as he was to keep standing.

And then Arthur's voice behind him startled Merlin. "NO!"

Merlin turned and watched as Arthur embed his sword in the rusty ground and raged over the death of Camelot's apparent last salvation. Merlin felt like crying again, and turned back to where the man who looked like himself was.

But there was no one there anymore.

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	2. The one who shares your blood

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :'(**

**This chapter has a lot of the original script dialogues, but there are changes in the story, so please read.**

**And... review? Please?**

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**Chapter 1**

The one who shares your blood

The ride back to Camelot was grim. Arthur felt desperate. But not just because the dragonlord had died- although that had had Arthur almost tearing his hair out.

No. What had Arthur worried at the time being was Merlin. He was pale, his face looked gaunter than ever, and his hands trembled. He had a haunted look to his eyes that unsettled Arthur. The servant moved in a daze, following Arthur's orders mechanically and without complaint. That in itself was scary. But when Arthur started mocking him on purpose to rouse an answer out of him, Merlin continued to look ahead with glazed eyes, a small frown etched permanently in his demeanor.

Arthur eventually gave up trying to get Merlin to talk. He was being more difficult than when they were just looking for Balinor. Before, he looked troubled, nervous, and even a little angry.

But now he looked lost. Frustrated, and- dare he say- he looked obsessed over something Arthur couldn't begin to put his finger on. And even though the prince would never admit to it, he did care about Merlin, and considered him his closest friend, thus he kept silent and gave Merlin his space. But he _would_ get some answers when all this things with the dragon were over.

A fist clenched around Arthur's heart. What would he tell his father? He'd failed. They had travelled all the way to Balinor's cave, just for him to get killed a day away from Camelot. Maybe… Maybe that was what was troubling Merlin! Yes, that was it. He had seen his servant wipe his teary eyes, and looking around the clearing. His gaze landing on everyone but the prince or Balinor's dead body. Merlin was a soft soul, and hadn't received the training of a knight to resist physical and emotional pain. It was logical that he would feel sour over the dead of a man he had just met. Typical Merlin.

Arthur decided he'd give Merlin some advice when they got to Camelot.

A few hours before Arthur set with his knights to defeat the dragon, Merlin was still silent and pale.

"Merlin, if I die, please…"

"What?"

"The dragonlord today…I saw you. One thing I tell all my young knights: no man is worth your tears." This brought the fakest grin Arthur had seen on his servant's face for a long time.

"You're certainly not" he quipped and turned.

Arthur took a sword and was bemused when Merlin took one too.

"What are you doing?" he said.

"I'm coming with you."

"Merlin, the chances are I'm going to die." Arthur sometimes thought Merlin had a death wish.

"Yeah. Yeah, you probably would if I wasn't there."

Arthur scoffed "Right."

"Do you know how many times I've had to save your royal backside?" the amusement in Merlin's voice was more genuine this time, and Arthur almost sighed with relief. But he restrained it, because sighing out of the blue could be a very girly thing to do.

Instead, he said "Well, at least you've got your sense of humor back." He gripped his sword tighter and headed for the door. Merlin followed.

"Are you really going to face this dragon with me?"

"I'm not going to sit here and watch. I know it's hard for you to understand how I fell, but… well, I care a hell of a lot about that armour, I'm not going to let you mess it up." Merlin gave him a mischievous lopsided grin, and they laughed, Arthur giving his friend a friendly hit on the arm.

Together, they would face this dragon.

When every knight in the clearing was out, Merlin used his power as a dragonlord to make Kilgharrah stop. For the first time, the dragon looked fearful. He knew what Merlin meant to do.

The last dragonlord rose the spear and pointed it at the dragon's right side. He would kill it. He would make him pay. He would…

But Merlin couldn't do it. He couldn't kill the last dragon. He had already gathered Kilgharrah and himself were the last of their kind. He just couldn't kill it. Instead- "GO! LEAVE! IF YOU EVER ATTACK CAMELOT AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU!"

Kilgharrah bowed, and Merlin continued "I have shown you mercy! Now you must do the same to others!"

Kilgharrah spoke, "Young warlock, what you have shown is what you will be. I will not forget your clemency."

Merlin gulped, shaking as a leaf. Kilgharragh was about to take flight, when he turned to Merlin again. "I feel duty-bound to warn you, young warlock. You must beware. The one who shares your blood does not walk along your light. You must bring him to believe in the time of Albion or else everything that matters will be lost."

Merlin's heart clenched, and he frowned. "What do you mean?"

Kilgharrah slowly set his wings to fly. "You must remember, Merlin, that blood may yet be stronger than destiny, than the light you bear. You must never forget that you are Emrys. You must never leave Arthur's side."

"I would never do that!" Merlin stammered. "I don't understand."

"In time you will, young warlock. Again, I thank you for your mercy."

"Wait!"

"Farewell, Merlin. I'm sure our paths will cross again."

And then Kilgharrah was gone, and Arthur woke up.

"What happened?" he slurred.

Merlin felt the events of the day catching up with him, and his eyes went misty. "You dealt him a mortal blow."

"He's gone?" Arthur asked, incredulously.

Merlin nodded. "Yeah. You did it."

Arthur laughed insanely, while Merlin repeated in a small voice. "_You_ did it."

He smiled at Arthur, but his mind was somewhere else; with Balinor, Kilgharrah and his warning, and the mysterious young man who looked like Merlin. The man who had killed his father.

Merlin resolved.

He would find him. One way or another.

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	3. Let Emrys See

**Hey everyone! I wanted to thank all those who reviewed and started following this story a lot :D It means a great deal to me, and it motivates me to keep writing :)**

**So, here's chapter 2 for you guys.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin :'(**

**Please review!**

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**Chapter 2**

Let Emrys See

King Cendred sat on his throne, his face sharp, his eyes cold, his posture as rigid as ever. The man before him reported. "The training is going well, Your Majesty. The boy is exceptionally skilled. Two weeks of intense training have proved him worthy of being one of the two Ariad Assassins."

"Pray you are right, Narim, or you will be the first one to be murdered."

"I'm sure of this, my lord." Narim, a big, tough thug with an ugly scar crossing his face exactly at the half, was not usually fearful, but he could not help but cower a little before King Cendred.

"I still need proof of his worth." The royal said.

Narim stammered. "He- he has already killed the sorceress Krisha, the treacherous Gurlias and… He was the one to kill the runaway dragonlord. Sire," he added as an afterthought.

"That may as well have been an accident." The king stated.

"Even when he was nothing more than a soldier in your army, my lord, he already was one of our best swordsmen."

"Then I shall meet him, and he shall fight me." Cendred started to stand up, dismissing the meeting, when Narim rose a hand.

"Please, my lord. It is part of the code of those who are to become Ariad Assassins not to reveal their faces to anyone- save their trainer- even after their training is finished."

Cendred huffed. "Those rules surely don't apply if it's their king ordering to have a meeting."

"I'm sorry, my lord."

Cendred narrowed his eyes. "You better make sure the boy is ready for next week's assassination. I want Arthur Pendragon's head on a platter by then."

Cendred exited the throne room, the enormous wooden doors closing behind him with finality.

* * *

"Merlin! What is wrong with you?!" Arthur's voice could be heard all throughout the castle. "You are usually useless, but this! I asked for_ wine_ in my goblet, not _stew_!"

Merlin stared bemusedly at the goblet, tilting his head. He hadn't realized he had served the wine on the plate and spooned the stew from the pot into the goblet.

"I'm sorry, sire."

"Do not 'sorry-sire' me! These last two weeks you've been useless! Ever since we went looking for Balinor something is off about you! What is it?"

"Nothing, sire."

Arthur stood up from his chair and pointed his finger at Merlin's nose. "You're calling me sire- without sarcasm! Something is definitely wrong!"

"I'm fine… Arthur."

"That's better. So, what is it?"

Merlin frowned. It was strange for Arthur to show the least bit of interest over whatever happened to him. He wondered if he should take the chance to…

"I… I was wondering if…" Merlin faltered.

"Yes?"

"If I…" He sighed. "Could I go see my mother for a few days? Sire?" He kept his head low.

"What for?"

"I… Forget I said anything, sire. Would that be all?" Without waiting for an answer, Merlin cleared the table and left the room in a haste.

As the door closed, Arthur frowned. Well, he'd proved it. Something was definitely wrong with his servant.

* * *

"Merlin, please pass me the pitcher."

The warlock absentmindedly grunted and obliged.

"The _pitcher_, Merlin, not your spoonful of stew."

"Huh?"

"My boy, are you alright? You've barely eaten anything…"

"Huh?" Merlin repeated, then realized he was making his mentor concerned and quickly said "I'm fine."

"Why do I get the feeling that those words mean nothing if they come from your mouth, my boy?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I was just thinking."

"As if that were supposed to reassure me," the physician joked, earning a half smile from his ward. "There you go, that's better." He leaned forward on the bench. "Now. Will you tell me what is bothering you?"

Merlin hesitated for a second, and then blurted, "I've… hum… I've been thinking about Balinor a lot." When Merlin's voice broke, and his eyes went watery, Gaius stood up to sit next to his ward, and embraced him.

"It is only normal for you to remember your father, Merlin. He was a very good man, he was special, like you. I wish you could have had more time to spend together."

"Me too."

"But I am sure, wherever he is now, he is proud of you, my boy. You are a good man too, and you will achieve great things."

Merlin shook his head and shot to his feet. "How am I supposed to do the great things people expect me to do, when I cannot save the people I love? I lost Will, Freya and Balinor already because I was too much of a coward to use my magic in front of Arthur! How will the time of Albion come if I am so weak, so stupid, and so selfish?" Merlin was openly crying now, and Gaius's heart ached for his ward. He was too kind-hearted, too loyal, and too brave to deserve this suffering. He always doubted and berated himself, sometimes drowning, as he was now- in self-hatred and pity.

Gaius could only see as the great Emrys suffered, to no one else's knowledge, but his. But he could only be there for him, as he always was. Still, Gaius was scared to see the wall Merlin was steadily building around himself. A wall of nonchalance, witty retorts and lopsided smiles that were not heartfelt anymore. Merlin hadn't even talked to Gaius about Balinor's death two weeks ago. This breakdown was the closest his ward had gotten to open his heart to him for a long time.

"Merlin, you always do the best you can-"

"But it's not enough! It's never enough, Gaius! I am not good enough- not for this, not for anything, except making a fool of myself!"

"Merlin-"

Gaius was interrupted again by his ward, who was irritably wiping his tears away. "But that is about to change. I have thought it over. I will at least avenge my father."

A fist clenched around Gaius's heart. He hadn't realized there was darkness growing in his ward's soul. "Revenge will bring you or your father no peace, Merlin."

"You don't know that Gaius." Merlin rushed to get his jacket and put it on, heading for the door with long strides.

"Merlin-"

The warlock suddenly halted before the door with a pensive look on his face, and turned around to face Gaius once more. The look in Merlin's eyes scared the physician.

"Gaius, I need you to promise me you'll tell me the truth."

Gaius gaped. "And why would you ask that? I always tell you the truth about everything, Merlin," he said.

"Because, this time you may want to lie, but I need the truth. Will you promise?"

There was something desperate in Merlin's look that made Gaius nod just once.

"Alright," said the warlock. "Just answer me this. Are you keeping more secrets about my family from me?"

Gaius paled and shook. Merlin stared at him with eyes in slits. "I think that answers it." The servant said bitterly and left the room with quick strides.

"Merlin, why-?" Gaius started, but then realized with a cold heart that his ward had already left.

* * *

That afternoon, Prince Arthur observed his servant. The royal could sometimes be oblivious, but the change in Merlin's demeanor was so obvious that even a prat- in Merlin's words- would see it. He worked silently, going around the room picking objects up and putting them back in their place. When Arthur joked and made fun of Merlin, calling him a girl, he didn't even roll his eyes, too absorbed in his seemingly dark thoughts as he was. He didn't answer to Arthur when the prince asked why he needed days off, neither did he say anything when Arthur offered to give them to him. He just went about, doing his duties as the perfect servant should, except for the part in which he deliberately didn't acknowledge that his master was present in the room.

That was when Arthur decided he needed to talk to someone about it. Not that he'd let himself be caught dead caring for his servant, but him being efficient made him twice as irritating as he normally was. He considered talking to Gwen, but his newly found affections for her made her immediately discarded. Then there was Gaius. Maybe he should take the matter to Gaius and make a plan to snap Merlin out of it.

That was why Arthur stood up from where he was- sitting at his desk- and deliberately made his way to Gaius's chambers.

"Upset? Over the death of a stranger?"

"I'm afraid so, sire. Merlin has a kind heart, and it is only natural that he feels the loss of Balinor the most."

"But- but…" Arthur was at loss of words. He couldn't believe that Merlin was being such a big girl over this. He understood that Merlin was weaker holding his emotions back than him, but this! "I'll see what I can do, though I'm not sure if it will be much… Merlin has the emotional stability of a girl."

"Sire." Gaius put his hand on the prince's shoulder. "Don't do anything rash."

Arthur nodded and left.

That evening found Merlin and Arthur in the prince's chambers, with the latter watching his servant like a hawk. "Don't you dare ignore me now, _Mer_lin. I'm actually showing my concern for you."

No answer.

"You could at least be grateful that I am stooping so low." Arthur put his most condescending voice to rouse an answer from Merlin. And he did: Merlin stopped in his tracks where he was hanging a shirt on the closet and glared at Arthur.

"Ah, so now you decide once again that it is lowly to care for a servant. Good," he said through clenched teeth.

"I care about servants whenever I please."

"Right. Are you done, sire? I have more important things on my mind than discussing when you should care for servants." Arthur didn't like this hostile Merlin. His servant had always been outspoken and back-talked to him all the time, but this was different. Merlin looked as if he'd much rather be anywhere else than speaking to Arthur. He'd been grumpy like this for a few days, especially today, and now that Arthur knew- at least partially- the cause for Merlin being sulking around, he wanted more than anything to have his cheeky servant back.

"Is it Balinor?" he asked bluntly, and Merlin stopped in his tracks once again.

"What?"

"Balinor. You haven't gotten over his death, have you?"

Merlin scoffed, but it seemed fake. "Why should I have anything to get over? I don't care about Balinor."

"Except you do."

"Hmph."

"Merlin, I'm trying to help you, here."

"Well, Arthur, as touching as that is, please don't bother. Leave me be."

Arthur opened his mouth to reply something, but the softer part of him noticed the wary way in which Merlin was holding himself, and the paleness of his skin. His eyes didn't even seem completely focused, betraying that his mind was mostly somewhere else.

"You know what, Merlin? Have the afternoon off. You'll be no use to me behaving like this."

Merlin gaped, about to retort, but then the reply died away and a small smile twitched at his mouth. "I… Thank you, sire. Arthur."

Surprisingly enough, Merlin gave him a small nod as a sign of respect, and left the room with half a smile.

Arthur leaned back in his chair, happy that he had managed to at least stir a tiny smile from his servant.

* * *

"So, wolfsbane, sticklewood, and…?"

"Lavender."

"Right," Merlin went over the small list of herbs he needed to collect again. He was in a considerably better mood than before, the conversation he'd had with Gaius about Balinor completely forgotten. "You'll tell Arthur I'm doing _this_, right? I don't want him cracking more jokes about me and taverns any time soon."

Gaius cracked a smile. "I'll make sure I remember. I hope."

"Hope too. Lavender, sticklewood, wolfsbane?"

"That's right. I'll be in the lower town by the time you come back. You'll know where to find me shall you need anything."

Merlin smiled, "Thanks, Gaius," and in a happier mood than he had been that morning, he took his jacket and set for the forest.

* * *

The light in the woods had an eerie glint to it. Everything was quiet as Merlin bent down to grasp a stem of sticklewood sprouting near the root of a tree. Picking herbs wasn't Merlin's idea of resting, having the evening off and everything, but his satchel was getting full of herbs already, and Merlin almost smiled at the mental image of Gaius's approving gaze. He reached down again.

And then he heard the voices.

_…__stirring. He said the assassins have almost finished their training._

_Emrys must be warned._

Merlin shot to his feet again. The voices… They were druids, he was sure. The voices sounded in his head with urgency.

_… __Prince Arthur will be dead and…_

_Emrys should have known already!_

_… __won't be able to stop it…_

_Emrys is not invincible…_

_… __Albion will not come…_

_We must help him… _

_Show him…_

_… __Let Emrys see…_

_… __Let him…_

_See._

Merlin suddenly felt dizzy. Everything blurred around him. He felt sick.

Something was pushing against his mind, trying to intrude, but Merlin wouldn't let it.

His head was on fire. Merlin writhed, trying to keep standing but not being able to stand upright. He tried to escape the invisible claws that scraped at him. Something was being forced into his mind, and when the pain became too much, Merlin couldn't block it anymore and he fell backwards on the ground, hard. He smacked his head against the floor, and the outside world was lost to him.

His eyes stared unblinkingly at the sky, his gaze unfocused and his iris swirling in gold.

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	4. Unblinking Eyes

**Twin Forces**

**Chapter 3**

**Unblinking eyes **

"Is there anything else you need, my lord?"

"No, that would be all. You can leave."

At the dismissal, the servant that had been tending to Arthur bowed and left.

Arthur stared at the paperwork he had waiting for him and grumbled. He hadn't been able to concentrate and that put him in a mood. It was all Merlin's fault. Arthur would never admit it, but he _was_ mildly concerned about his servant. He couldn't very well have an emotionally weak servant tending to him every day now, could he? Arthur pondered different tactics to bring Merlin back to his usual self, without showing he actually cared.

It was late at night, after dinner, and Arthur was still musing over this, staring blankly at the unbegun paperwork, when a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in."

Gaius came into the room with a small frown etched on his forehead. "Hello, sire."

"Gaius."

"I was wondering if you have seen Merlin anywhere."

"I gave him the evening off, I thought he would be drooling in his sleep by now."

Gaius raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid not, sire. Merlin is my apprentice as well as your servant. I sent him to pick herbs, thought it would help him clear his head."

"Will do him good. But then, why are you looking for him, Gaius?"

"Because I sent him as soon as he got to my chambers. He was supposed to come back hours ago."

Arthur stood up, rousing a knowing smile from Gaius, who knew for certain that Arthur was becoming dependent of Merlin and cared for him as a friend. Still, the worried frown didn't come off, instead etching itself on Arthur's face too.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"Probably the idiot knocked himself out banging his head against a tree. Gaius, I assure you, if Merlin is not back in one hour, I'll go on a search party and bring the idiot back."

"Thank you, sire, although I highly doubt your father will approve. After all, Merlin is just a servant." The voice of the physician acquired a strange tone, as if he were daring Arthur to agree. The prince noticed this and straightened his back proudly.

"I am not a child anymore, Gaius. I do have a mind of my own and there's no need of my father knowing if I decided to go on a hunt with my knights at night. They need some nocturne training, after all."

Gaius smiled. "Indeed, sire."

_The torrent of images slowed in speed, but there was one that stayed imprinted on Merlin's mind._

_A figure stood in front of the window, outlined against the moonlight that poured through the frame. It held a knife in one hand and approached the bed._

_Blood. There was blood everywhere. The man on the bed choked as a deep red substance trailed down his mouth and chin. The figure held the bloodied dagger and twisted it with a smirk._

_The man, blond and once strong, died helplessly on his own bed, with his chest torn and then his throat slit._

_Then the figure's face was suddenly bathed in light, and those eyes turned directly at Merlin._

_Those blue, sinister eyes._

_Those eyes that burned a fiery gold._

_Merlin's eyes._

"My lord!"

"Sir Kay?"

"What is the real purpose of this hunt, if I may ask?"

Arthur gripped the reins of his horse and smiled. "We're hunting for my servant. Hiya!" He spurred his horse forward, leaving a dumbfounded Sir Kay in his wake.

It was dark. Very dark. Each man had lit a torch to keep looking. Arthur guided his knights through the area in which Gaius had told him Merlin had most likely gone to search for herbs. The manservant hadn't been found yet, but Arthur had an inkling that they would find him soon.

Something about the place felt… off. Eerie.

"Sire! We've found him!"

Arthur's heart felt cold as he jumped down of his horse and rushed to Sir William's side. The phrase 'we've found him' sounded- wrong. As if Merlin were…

Deciding to cut that thought off, Arthur pushed his knights aside from where they were all gathering around something on the ground. Namely, Merlin.

They parted, and Arthur's heart almost stopped. Lit by the torches, Merlin's face looked pale and gaunt. And his eyes… they were open. Staring unblinkingly at the sky. Like the eyes of someone who is… dead? No.

Arthur choked and knelt beside his servant, feeling for a pulse.

He sighed with relief. There it was. Steady- and strong, even. But his breathing was awfully slow. Arthur grabbed Merlin's limp head in his hands. "Merlin. Merlin," he urged. Why he talked in hushed tones, he had no idea. Merlin didn't respond. His skin was clammy and warm.

"Come on, Merlin." Arthur patted him on the cheek, his voice raising with worry. He didn't care if his knights were witnessing his worry for his servant. Panic was starting to claw at him.

"You idiot! I didn't give you permission to sleep at work!" He put his supercilious tone, but Merlin didn't turn to glare at him. His eyes remained unfocused.

"Sire," Sir Kay put a hand on the prince's shoulder. "If I may, I think we should get him back to Gaius."

Inhaling sharply, Arthur nodded, passing one arm under Merlin's sweaty neck and the other under his knees and scooped him up. "Fine," he whispered. "Gaius."

An unresponsive warlock lay on the cot in his room, staring at nothing. Hushed voices poured into the room from downstairs.

"He has a fever, sire. He also seems to be in shock."

"Why?"

"That, I really cannot begin to fathom. Merlin is strong, Arthur- stronger than you give him credit for. For him to be like this- it's unnatural."

"When will he recover?"

"That, I don't know either. We can only hope it will be soon."

Laying on his cot, Merlin stared at nothing.

A small drizzle of golden light swept past his gaze.

Merlin blinked. Just once. And a single tear made its way down from the corner of his eye.

Gaius was startled from where he was, cooling Merlin's brow when Gwen came rustling into his ward's room.

"Oh, Gaius! I came as soon as I heard this morning- how is he?"

Gaius smiled tiredly. "The same," he sighed. "Won't blink, won't speak, he didn't even resist when I guzzled a potion down his throat."

Gwen shook her head. That was an unlikely thing for Merlin to do. She sat on the edge of Merlin's cot and took his now cold hand in hers. "Why are his eyes open like that?"

"I don't know, Gwen."

"Should we close them?"

"I've already tried, but they won't budge. I wonder how they haven't dried out. He needs to blink, but, so far, I've only seen him blink twice this morning."

Gwen bit her lower lip as she did when she was upset. "What could possibly leave him in this state? Was he ambushed by bandits?"

"I don't know. I don't think it's likely. I checked for any wounds or bruising, but he seems fine. Other than the shaking, the fever, and his unresponsive state, of course."

Gaius looked worn out, and Gwen's gaze softened. "I'll stay here, Gaius. You go and have some rest." She gave him a small smile, and Gaius nodded.

"Please give him this potion shall he start moving. He will need energy. And please inform me if anything changes."

Gaius shut the door and Gwen caressed Merlin's hand in hers. "Please get better, Merlin. We need you." Her voice trembled. "Please, Merlin. For me, wake up."

A few moments passed, and Gwen turned her gaze away, disappointed. But, suddenly, Merlin's thumb moved a little, and softly stroked the back of Gwen's hand. The girl gasped. "Merlin! Gaius, come! He moved!" she shouted excitedly, but by the time Gaius came up to the room Merlin's hand had gone limp once again.

When Merlin finally came around, Gaius was around doing his rounds, and Arthur was sat at his servant's bedside, deep in thought. The warlock had been in his coma-like state for the past three days and kept staring at the ceiling, so Arthur, despite being still worried, made himself comfortable and waited for Merlin to do something- anything. But as the minutes turned into hours and Merlin, being the idiot he was, didn't oblige to Arthur's wishes and continued his meaningless stare, Arthur's eyes started to droop.

And then Merlin made a strangled choking sound and sat abruptly on the bed. "Arthur!"


	5. Awake

**I want to thank all those who have been reading and reviewing this story so far! It means a great deal to me! I'm a slow writer, so please be patient with me if updates are sporadic.**

**Anyway, I don't own Merlin, never have, never will. **

**Enjoy!**

**Twin Forces  
Chapter 4**

**Awake**

****The prince shot to his feet. "Bloody hell, Merlin! You could've at least warned me you were going to wake up!"

Merlin's stare wasn't focused on him, though. He looked horrified at something in front of him. What? Arthur couldn't fathom. "Arthur!" he yelled again, his voice hoarse and so terrified that something clenched in Arthur's heart.

"I'm here, you idiot!" He grabbed his servant's shoulder and shook him. "I'm here!"

Merlin flinched and screamed, trying to free himself from Arthur's grasp. His hazy eyes darted around the room, searching for something. He hollered Arthur's name again, and the prince got desperate- so he slapped Merlin. Hard.

The warlock gasped, his hand flying to his hurting jaw, but his eyes were not bleary anymore and for that Arthur was grateful.

"That's better," he said smugly.

Merlin's eyes connected with his. "A-Arthur?" he stammered.

The blonde was about to make a snarky comment about how Merlin had a talent for stating the obvious, but then he saw the lingering fear in Merlin's eyes, and he refrained, settling instead for gripping Merlin's arm strongly and saying "I'm here, Merlin. I'm here. You're safe."

Merlin's eyes filled with unshed tears and his voice came in a disbelieving and happy laugh. "You're alive!"

At that, Arthur frowned. "Of course I am, you idiot. Unlike you, I don't trip over roots and knock myself-" he was cut short when his servant flung himself at Arthur and wrapped him into a bone-crushing hug. The action was so foreign to Arthur that he didn't know how to react to his manservant hugging him and panting on his shoulder, as if clinging to him for dear life. He wasn't so heartless as to push him away, but he wasn't so soft as to hug him back, so he settled for patting his back softly.

"Um…It's okay, Merlin. You're safe now."

Merlin's reply was a breathy, happy, and incredulous "You're alive!"

"What the hell are you going on about?"

Merlin just repeated, "You're alive! I didn't do it! You're alive!"

Arthur frowned and patted Merlin's back again a little more firmly, trying somehow to wake him up from his mantra. "I'm here, idiot. Stop making a fuss about it."

At that, Merlin pulled apart from Arthur and wiped at his eyes, a huge smile on his face. "Sorry. I'm just happy."

"Happy that you could get three days off sleeping without my permission, you mean."

"Wha-?"

"Do you feel better now?" Arthur asked.

"I feel fine. But, what did you say-" he was interrupted by Arthur smacking him in the head.

"What the hell were you thinking?! What were you doing in the woods, if not collecting bloody herbs?! Honestly, Merlin. Three days is a long time to be sleeping around on the job. I should have you fired."

"Th-three days? What happened?"

"You tell me."

"I- I don't… I don't know! I must have tripped or something."

"Tripped."

"Uh… yeah?" Merlin's eyes had gone bleary again, so Arthur decided to give the matter a rest. He put his hand to his servant's shoulder and stood up. "You get some rest. I'll get Gaius."

Merlin's sigh of relief didn't go unnoticed by Arthur, who added "But don't think that this lets you off the hook."

Merlin's smile was a little fake. "I'd never dream of it, sire."

Gaius had just come back from his rounds and was about to enter Merlin's room when he heard Arthur's footsteps and the door shot open.

"He's awake," the prince informed him with a smile. If Gaius didn't know better, he'd say Arthur was awfully relieved by this. Choosing not to comment on that, the old physician rushed to get flasks of potions, a pillow, a bowl with water and a cloth, all of which he managed to take in his arms and hands in seconds- thanks to years of practice.

"My boy, glad to see you are awake", he sighed.

Merlin managed to pull a face between a smile and a grimace. "Seems like it. Am I really?"

Gaius gave Merlin the Eyebrow he was legendary for. "Something is bothering you. What is it?" he said as he draped Merlin into his covers again and placed a pillow under his head.

"Um… nothing?"

"You know better than to keep things from me. What happened the other day?"

"Just, um… Gaius, I just woke up- it's too early-"

"Nonsense", Gaius cut him off, sitting beside him on the cot and wetting his brow with the cloth. "My boy. You were unconscious for days- do you mean to tell me that what happened out there was nothing?"

Merlin's face grew serious. "This is nothing, Gaius. Please, leave me be."

"Merlin."

The boy let out a huff and buried his head deeper into his pillow, putting the heels of his palms to his face. "I- I…"

"Well?"

"IT'S NOTHING! Just leave and let me think!"

Arthur's head popped in from the doorway "Well, finally!"

"LEAVE!" Merlin roared. Then all the fight seemed to go out of him and he rubbed his eyes. "Please, Arthur. Gaius."

When the door closed after the two, if there were bemused looks exchanged, and worried frowns etched on both faces, none of them said anything.

Inside his room, breathing heavily and barely containing distressed gasps, Merlin retired his hands from his face. He stretched his right in front of him and analyzed his trembling fingers. A few cold seconds passed.

Then Merlin clenched his hand into a fist and brought it down against his chest, just in the way one would do when wielding a knife.


	6. Foreboding

**Twin Forces  
Chapter 5  
Foreboding**

The next day Merlin busied himself around Gaius's chambers. His back was stiff, it ached, making him frown at the thought that he had been laying on his cot for days.

"My boy, are you sure you are up to work already?"

Merlin clenched his jaw. "Of course, Gaius. I feel fine."

"Your back is bound to hurt, Merlin. And I'm quite sure that your headache hasn't gone away completely."

"It's almost gone."

"You could rest some more…"

"I'm tired of resting."

"At least take some of th-"

"I said I'm _fine_, Gaius," Merlin interrupted with exasperation. "And even if I wasn't, I still have to go back to protecting the prat, remember? I'm a servant. I'm _bloody Emrys_. Camelot's sodding destiny rest on my shoulders. I can't take a break. That's what I do, remember? Work, work, work! " He added in an eerily cheery voice as he left what he was doing, heading to Arthur's chambers and leaving a very concerned Gaius in his wake.

_He ran. His heavy steps almost made no noise over the fallen leaves in the woods. The cold air bit his skin, but he wouldn't fall. Not again. Never again. _

_He wouldn't be punished this time around._

_He was ready now._

_His vision blurred against the trees he passed by. It was early in the morning._

_He wouldn't rest until he reached his goal. _

_Camelot would lose a prince soon. To his hands. He longed for that forthcoming day._

_He heard rustling and smiled as he spotted the stag. Excellent. A prey. He was hungry, after all. He licked his pointy nails and took out a deadly looking dagger. _

_It was almost time to kill._

Merlin's steps took him to the northern tower. He knew he was behaving stupidly, that he'd been rude to Gaius, and that he may be overreacting, but he couldn't stop himself from shaking all over when he thought back to the dream he'd had.

_The handle of the dagger, the thumping of his heart quickening, the sick smile he'd felt on his own face as he plunged the deadly blade into Arthur's chest…_

Merlin passed swept a hand over his face and sighed tiredly. _Breathe, Merlin, just breathe. Arthur is alive and well. _It was not as if he could ever be capable of betraying his destiny.

_… The sensation of satisfaction as he twisted the dagger, watching Arthur open his eyes in a panic…_

Merlin blinked repeatedly and looked up to purple sky of Camelot. He just needed to calm down and work out what was happening. Perhaps this dream had been sent to him by the druids to warn him of an imminent, _different _kind of danger.

_… Arthur's mouth open in a silent scream of agony…_

Merlin groaned, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes. He needed to stop thinking now. And the only way he would be able to do so- somewhat- would be occupying his hands.

He had a prince to serve, and loads of chores to relieve him from his nightmares.

"…Merlin?"

"Yes, _sire_?"

"You shouldn't be here. Get some rest."

"I'm flattered by your concern, _sire_."

"Get out."

"Oooh, someone's grumpy today."

"I am not grumpy. Just irritable around you."

Arthur and Merlin had thankfully fallen into their same routine.

"Is that why I woke up and you were at my bedside?"

"Merlin."

"Yes, sire?"

"Shut up."

"…"

"…"

"You say that every time you lose."

"MERLIN!" Arthur screamed with outrage, though he was smiling ever so slightly.

Merlin laughed and dodged the goblet thrown his way, then took a basket with Arthur's laundry and escaped the room. Arthur stayed behind and let his smile drop. Something had happened four days ago. He wanted to know exactly what- even though he would never admit it to other but himself, he had started to truly care about his servant's wellbeing, and it worried him that Merlin didn't want to talk about what had happened. That certainly wasn't like him. Merlin loved to babble stupidly about pretty most _everything_, but when he had woken up he had been all guarded, his eyes only shimmering briefly with an unmistakable look of dread.

No matter how stupid Merlin thought him to be, he was not _that_ oblivious.

Arthur really wanted to know what was going on. Still, he resolved, crossing his arms over his chest, if Merlin didn't want to tell him, that was fine by Arthur. The prince was not about to beg for information to anybody. Merlin least of all. No. He would sit back and observe him. When the servant wanted to spill what had occurred, Arthur was sure he would do so.

Arthur sighed tiredly and rubbed his face, sitting at the edge of his mattress and secretly puzzling over the troublesome servant.

Unbeknownst to him, a few miles away, a man sprinted tirelessly towards Camelot, his eyes gleaming with determination and bloodlust.

_Just you wait, Arthur Pendragon. Here I come._

**Please review!**


	7. Concern

**Hello everyone! Here I am with another bit of my fanfiction. Yeah, sadly, I don't own Merlin. All rights to bbc and whatnot :p **

**It has been really hard to be able to sit down and write- I've had some sort of severe case of writer's block this last year, thus, I don't feel very happy about this chapter. Please tell me what you think. **

**It's soooo freaking hot in here, that I feel I might just die, and you might not get the next chapter. Mwahaha**

**Anyway, on with the chapter! **

* * *

**Twin Forces**

**Chapter 6**

**.-Concern-.**

Merlin was having a restless sleep. Kilgharrah's words from that night echoed in his head.

…_The one who shares your blood does not walk along your light… You must remember, Merlin, that blood may yet be stronger than destiny, than the light you bear. You must never forget that you are Emrys. You must never leave Arthur's side._

The face of the man who murdered Balinor flashed in Merlin's mind.

… _He's coming…_

… _Emrys must be warned…_

_He felt the blood on his hands, the cruel smile on his face._

_The desperation._

_Those golden eyes turned towards him._

Merlin jerked on his cot, his body drenched in cold sweat.

_Pointy long nails covered in dirt. Blood on his tongue. The taste, so foreign before, now so thrilling._

"No…"

_Albion must not come._

_Arthur must die… Uther shall fall…_

_Camelot must suffer._

"NO!"

Merlin sat up abruptly, panting hoarsely as he swung his feet out of bed. He gasped. He rested his elbows on his knees and his face on his hands.

Gaius's head popped in from the doorway.

"Merlin, are you alright?"

The warlock shook his head in an ambiguous gesture. "Nightmare." He curtly said.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"… Not really, Gaius."

"Do you want me to give you a potion for deep sleep?"

Merlin didn't turn his way. "I'm fine, Gaius."

The physician sighed and made his way out of Merlin's room. "G'night, my boy."

"G'night."

As the door was about to close behind Gaius, Merlin's croaky voice reached him.

"Gaius?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." '_I'm sorry'_, was silently added, but Gaius understood.

"Sleep well, Merlin."

The door closed.

The fire crackled dimly.

Two men stared at the ceiling, but neither of them could go back to sleep.

* * *

"_Mer_lin."

"Yes, _sire?_"

"You'd think that by now you'd be able to polish my armor correctly, wouldn't you?"

"I_ am_ able to do it, it just dirties again when you're around. Some things can't be helped."

"Nobody likes a smart aleck, you dolt."

Merlin dodged the goblet flown his way. He seemed a little more like himself that morning, Arthur noted. Sure, there were bags under his eyes, and he was pale, but he was nowhere near as out of sorts and irritable as he'd been the last few days. Arthur remembered the second time in his life he saw Merlin, when they'd fought with maces- Merlin mostly running around like a girl, mind you. That day Arthur had told Merlin that there was something about him he couldn't quite put his finger on. That feeling had remained with Arthur even as the years went on, so constant that the prince sometimes forgot it was there. But those last few days it was so obviously _there_. Arthur knew that whatever secrets Merlin kept hidden, where mostly what was bothering him these days. If only Merlin would tell him…

Merlin sensed Arthurs poignant gaze on him. "What?"

"Nothing. You seem more rested today."

"Is that concern I hear in your voice?"

Arthur scoffed. "Of course not."

"Uh huh."

"I swear Merlin, one day I might die of exasperation and it will be your fault."

Merlin made a funny face at that. "My fault, huh?"

"Yes. So shut up and get on with your chores. I'm done going easy on you."

"Whatever."

There was silence. Then the sound of armor being cleaned. Merlin scrubbed and scrubbed methodically. The truth is, Merlin _did_ know how to clean Arthur's armor- how could he not, after years of doing so almost every day?-, and he knew how to repair the chainmail. Arthur also knew that fact; he just overlooked it in favor of pissing Merlin off. Within time, though, Merlin had stopped scrubbing harder whenever Arthur told him the breastplate was still dirty 'you useless idiot', and had settled for either back talking or ignoring Arthur all the same- a habit he'd grown into very quickly. Arthur refused to say he kind of appreciated Merlin not being a bootlicker, purely, of course, to avoid getting a cocky manservant.

On his part, the servant was enjoying the quiet. It allowed him to think more clearly. He put aside the feeling of Arthur's scrutinizing look on him and focused on the gratifying feeling of clean metal beneath his hands, as he let his thoughts wander.

* * *

There were steps down the corridor. The torches flickered feebly in the man's wake.

It was getting dark.

Merlin carried the basket to the servants' quarters. Arthur had dismissed him, annoyed by his being distracted and deep in thought. _'Thinking doesn't suit you_,' he'd said. '_It makes your face go all funny. If you pass out from the effort I'm not picking you up._'

Same old prat.

Merlin stopped midway. Should he take the corridor on the left or the one on the right? One was shorter, but went through the citadel- Merlin had heard thunder rumbling far away-, and the other was longer, but sheltered from the rain. Choosing the latter, Merlin rearranged the basket with laundry on his arms and continued walking, not noticing the creeping shadow behind him.

* * *

Arthur cursed. He'd forgotten to tell Merlin to ready the horses early for the next day. They would be going on a one-day patrol -King's orders- and they couldn't afford to waste much daylight. Seeing how much time the idiot had been wasting those last few days he probably wouldn't be able to have everything ready in time.

The prince cursed again and stood up, leaving his half-eaten dinner behind.

Merlin had taken a basket with his laundry a few minutes ago, so maybe Arthur could get him before he got to Gaius's- preferably avoiding getting the disapproving frown from the old physician for keeping Merlin up late again. He headed to the servant quarters. He was about to cut way, going through the citadel, when he heard a crash and a thud.

Arthur stealthily approached the hallway to his right, crouching a little. Suddenly it seemed darker than before. He was pretty sure more torches had been lit a few moments ago.

There was a strangled yell and the sound of tussle. Arthur cursed in his mind. He hadn't brought his sword with him. Oh, well. He clenched his fists and stood into the dark corridor.

"Who's there?"

The sound of struggle ceased.

"State your intent!" Arthur took a few more steps forward.

"_Arthur!"_ the voice sounded muffled and somewhat strangled, but Arthur would've recognized it anywhere.

Merlin!

He walked quickly into the darkness, gradually becoming able to distinguish two shapes against the walls. He needn't see the glint of the blade to recognize a knife against his servant's throat.

"Who are you?" Arthur's voice was steady, but his hands shook with rage. "Leave that man alone."

"Arthur Pendragon?" the voice that spoke was gruff and somewhat high-pitched. Full with madness. "Oh this is just delicious. I came for one kill, now I get two." The outline of the man's head tilted to the side, as his hand went to press on Merlin's throat. "Just like this weak, weak, _weakling_," he sing sang as Merlin's breath hitched, "you'll struggle to breathe, and then I'll get to hear your pitiful screams, _son of Uther_."

Arthur surged forward, tackling the man. He distantly heard Merlin noisily taking gulps of air. Then he felt the blade cutting into his arm.

Damn, he'd forgotten about the knife.

"Arthur!"

There was a blow to his head and then… nothing.

* * *

**Please review!**


	8. Apathy

**Hello everybody! Chapter 7 is finally here!**

**I own Merlin- I wish.**

**So, this fanfic is growing a tad darker each chapter- I hope you enjoy this one :)**

**Please enjoy!**

**Twin Forces**

**Chapter 7**

**.-Apathy-.**

"Arthur!"

Merlin gasped as he saw the prince tackle the man and then fall down as if his strings had been cut.

Just before Arthur had come, Merlin had been about to use magic to throw his assailant away from him, but then the prince had appeared, and, ironically, Merlin had been rendered defenseless. There would be no way to explain his glowing golden eyes in the dark.

Merlin regretted not using his magic, however, for Arthur was slumped on the ground, and the stranger loomed over him. Merlin snarled, hurting his abused throat further. He didn't need to use words- he screamed, letting his magic surge forward violently, and threw the attacker against the wall. There was the noise of bones breaking and the man didn't move anymore.

"Arthur!"

Merlin ran to his master's side, feeling his pulse. It was normal, if a little accelerated. Merlin noticed the knife on his arm and gulped. Taking a quick glance around, Merlin waved his hand and the torches flickered to life. In a haste, the warlock spotted the basket with Arthur's laundry. He took one of the shirts he used for training and ripped it. Once the knife was out, Merlin bandaged the arm to stop the bleeding. He still needed to get Arthur to Gaius.

He glimpsed the slumped form of the man. Bearded and dressed with rags, his head resting against his chest in an odd angle. He was clearly dead.

Merlin had expected to feel remorse at having killed the man, but all he could think about was that Arthur was safe- relatively, and that he needed to get the body out before anyone noticed the strange cause of his death. A broken neck didn't just happen in a plain corridor.

Merlin hurried to carry Arthur to Gaius's, placing magical guards around the hallway so no one would feel the need to enter.

As he staggered, hauling Arthur, he tried to ignore the darkness he felt slowly pulling at his soul and settling inside his heart.

"Merlin! What happened?!" Even as he inquired, Gaius was fast to clear the table in his chambers. "Put him over here."

"There was a man, Gaius…"

"Shush, my boy. Did you check his vitals?"

"Almost normal. His pulse is a bit fast. Nothing to fear. But his _arm_, Gaius. The blade... "

"Indeed." Gaius examined the abused flesh. "We need to clean the cut or it may become infected. Hand me that bottle over there…"

* * *

Soon Arthur was awake and confused. "Gaius? Where's Merlin?"

"I sent him to… get some fresh water, sire."

"That idiot. Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yes, sire. I suggest you get some rest." Gaius totally evaded the point.

"I will." Arthur got to his feet, wobbling a little and grimacing at the pain in his arm. "We are going on a short patrol tomorrow." He headed for the door. "I was on my way to tell Merlin to ready the horses. Would you tell him that? We leave at first light."

Gaius had seen how shaken Merlin had been from the short ordeal. The patrols never ended well, and it would only get Merlin paranoid to go on patrol the next day. "Sire, if I may, I don't think you should leave the castle tomorrow. You need to rest."

"I took a knife to the arm, Gaius, not the legs."

"Your sword arm, sire. If something where to happen- which I know it will- you will not be able to defend yourself."

"That won't happen Gaius."

"And you will not be able to protect Merlin from harm either."

That got to him. Arthur wouldn't admit, of course, but Gaius could see the young man's eyes flicker momentarily with the possibility of being too late to protect his friend should something happen.

"Who cares about what happens to that useless excuse of a servant?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This patrol was ordered by my father, Gaius."

"I'm sure he'll listen to me if I explain. Your health is of utmost importance to him, my lord."

Arthur grunted and turned to leave for good when he almost bumped into Merlin.

"Sire! You're awake!"

"You've always liked to state the obvious."

"I'm glad! That you are awake, that is, not that I state the obvious."

"Gaius told me you'd gone to fetch some… water." Arthur dragged out the word as he looked around Merlin in search of the bucket, missing the pointed questioning look Merlin shot in Gaius's direction.

"I, um, yes!" Merlin nervously played with his hands. "I went for some-"

"Fresh water" Gaius cut in.

"-yes, but I evidently don't have it because… um. I… forgot the bucket!"

"You forgot the bucket." Arthur said patronizingly. "Are you sure there isn't something else you forgot somewhere, Merlin? Perhaps your head?"

Merlin's grin vanished.

"Very funny sire. Go to sleep."

"Last time I checked, Merlin, I gave the orders here."

"Check again, because I am a physician's apprentice, so either Gaius or I give the orders while you're injured."

"I got injured saving your life!"

"Thanks. Don't do that again, you're a terrible fist fighter."

"You ungrateful-"

"Sire," Gaius interrupted their bizarre banter. "Please, have a good rest."

"Whatever." Once again, Arthur was about to walk out the door when he turned one last time. "Merlin, that man."

The servant flinched. "Yes?"

"What happened to him?"

"He ran away, couldn't reach him."

"You've always been useless like that, haven't you?" Arthur said patronizingly, oblivious to the downcast expression his words brought to Merlin's face. "I expect you bright and early tomorrow with a tray of hot breakfast. Gaius." With a nod of the head towards the physician, he left for his chambers.

The old physician stared at his ward with concern.

"Merlin, your throat-"

"I'm not useless. I'm _not_. At least I never will be again."

"My boy?"

"Sorry, Gaius."

"Sit over there," the old man nodded towards the bench near the table and Merlin sat, conscious that there was no point hiding his bruised neck from the protective physician. He only thanked that Arthur hadn't noticed. Gaius dipped a rag in water and pressed it softly against Merlin's sensitive skin to prevent more swelling.

"And how did it go with the… water?" Gaius asked.

"You mean the… the body?"

"No one saw you, did they?"

"Who do you think I am, Gaius? Of _course_ no one saw me. Still… I never expected to do something like this… hiding a body and throwing it away like some thug would do… It doesn't feel right. It just makes my guilt run deeper."

"My boy, you did nothing but defend yourself and Arthur, you can't blame yourself."

"But I do, Gaius, because, though I feel guilty, I didn't feel horrified at killing him… I thought the sensation I felt after… after _killing_," it sounded so terrible, so _evil_… perhaps his soul was already damned, Merlin thought. "I thought it would never eventually wear off… but I'm starting to get used to it… All because of my oh-so-called _destiny_." He spit the word 'destiny' like it tasted foul in his mouth. "I'm terrified, Gaius." He remembered his dream from last night. "What if I am no better than the man who killed my father?"

"Don't say that."

"Alright. I won't."

But_ what if?_

_-Murderer_. The voices had spoken to him in his dreams many times- too often.

He felt closer to them now, as he understood them better.

_I am. I am a murderer._

As if reading his mind, Gaius put a hand on his shoulder and said, "You keep risking your life for the sake of others. No one that selfless could be evil."

"Thanks, Gaius." Merlin attempted to smile. However, as he spoke, his shoulders sagged in defeat.

* * *

There was his own face again, in Merlin's dream.

Those cold, golden eyes stared at him. The man smiled, his expression marred by the wicked tinge on the edges of his mouth, and the crazed glint of his overly dilated pupils.

"I'm thirsty." He turned his head around as if he were trying to see behind him, then looking up, and back to the front like a madman. He licked his teeth, then his dirty nails, and smiled again. "I'm tired, and I'm thirsty."

Everything was cold and rough. There was an ache pulling at his soul. There was darkness surrounding him, mercilessly soaking into his heart.

"I'm coming, Pendragon." He deadpanned. "You and your father made the wrong choice in making enemies of magical and non-magical people alike."

Merlin tried to say something, but he was _so_ cold and he couldn't move.

There was the gleam of a dagger and the man smiled again.

"_Die."_

* * *

Merlin gasped and sat up on his cot, drenched in cold sweat.

He was shaking, and gasping, unaware of it all. He breathed deeply to calm himself, and stared vacantly at his joined hands for what seemed hours. It was strange- he thought after a while-, he had stopped feeling restless as soon as he dug his nails into his knuckles. Whatever feeling of worry, rage or fear had gone away. Whatever mental conflict he'd had after killing the man that had attacked Arthur was gone from his mind now. Because…

_It's all his fault. That man. It's him. Not me. _

The attempt on Arthur's life earlier the day before had opened his eyes.

_Magic or not, they all go after Arthur and hurt whoever I care about. _

Merlin looked down in absentminded disgust to his hands and made a crushing gesture. He frowned, but then he felt a soft, distant presence brush his mind, and his frown receded. His eyes glazed. He tried to ponder on the presence, but it was gone before he could identify it.

The frown came back, as did the glint in his eyes.

_I am a murderer, _he thought._ But I will not be ashamed anymore. If this will bring about the Albion of the prophecies, I don't care about dooming my soul anymore._

_I was damned from the start. Some warlock I turned out to be._

His thoughts wandered back to the nightmare from last night, and the one he'd just had.

…_The handle of the dagger, the thumping of his heart quickening, the sick smile he'd felt on his own face as he plunged the deadly blade into Arthur's chest…_

_Your own face,_ _Merlin,_ he'd reasoned. _Your own hands, _he'd thought. He'd felt fear. But not anymore. Now he understood.

_Albion will not come…_

_Emrys should have known…_

_Emrys must be warned…_

_The assassins have almost finished their training…_

Merlin chuckled. Well, everything made a whole lot more sense now. He was surprised at himself for taking so long in realizing just what it was that had been nagging at his mind all day.

That man. At the clearing. Balinor's murderer.

_It was him. It must be._

How stupid Merlin had been for thinking it was himself in that dream.

'_Revenge,' _a bloodthirsty voice growled within him. There it was- the darkness pulling, scratching, luring him in.

Merlin had pondered sometimes on the appearance of that man, how he looked exactly like Merlin- but now, Merlin discovered, he didn't care anymore. If he was someone incredibly alike, a lost brother, an illusion, Merlin didn't care anymore. A sort of apathy had taken hold of his head and heart now. It was simple, really. He understood now. That man was coming to Camelot, his intent clear- murder. That man was jeopardizing Arthur's destiny. Merlin's destiny was to defend it.

Simple.

Just like he had done that very night, he must eliminate the threat.

Stop it, banish it,_ kill it_. Break its neck. Whatever it had to be. Whatever the cost, Merlin had to succeed.

This time around, he was ready. He would wait for the assassin to come.

Merlin brought the tips of his fingers to his bruised throat.

He vaguely remembered those golden eyes from his dream, and smiled- a wicked smile that would have scared Gaius had he seen it. Merlin hadn't really wanted to confront his father's murderer before.

But now…

Now he was growing excited.

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